don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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