Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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