It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
