Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
