yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
