i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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