So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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