Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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