I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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