I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
