it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
