East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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