You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
