he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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