Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
