My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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