If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
