you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
