i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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