I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
