my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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