uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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