Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
