we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
