Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
