How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
