In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
