Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
