Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
