its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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