And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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