Can Purell be used as lube?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
