A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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