operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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