Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
