I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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