would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
