I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
