Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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