Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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