gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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