I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
