i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
