Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
