You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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