FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
