So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
