So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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