you would pick up someone in the library
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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