Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
