Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
