Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i drank out of a bidet.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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