two words: eviction party
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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