just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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