I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
