the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
