he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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