just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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